Love

the role of willpower

Picture courtesy of Pixabay

One of the favorite passages of Scripture which people choose for their wedding day is still St Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 13.

It’s striking because St Paul is not talking about a “head-over-the-heels” kind of emotion, nor even one based on physical attraction, but specifically that of willpower. His words describe a form of love which is based on personal determination of will and total commitment. He’s describing the unending covenantal love between God and humanity, but among other expressions of love, it applies to all our relationships also.

For most people, we can see this form of love in isolation from any others when we think of our pets. It is extraordinary to see the depth of this kind of loving sometimes, especially when a pet is in need of care or is dying.

But in human relationships, it is far from thinking yourself into love or deluding yourself. It is a grounded version of love which most couples see more clearly later in life, perhaps after ups and downs in their relationship, (hence its enduring nature), but which has actually always been there, whether we are aware of it or not.

It’s a bit like the attitude: “I will not allow anyone or anything to come between us” or like just taking it on trust that the expensive and beautifully-labelled bottle of wine you have just…